Q & A for Other Destination Wedding Brides: Jackie Ellis, Playa Del Carmen, November 4, 2006

Q: What made you decide to have a destination wedding?

A: We are at an age now where it seems that all of our friends are getting married. After having attended so many traditional weddings we noticed that although the receptions were very nicely done, they lacked intimacy and did not say much about the couple beyond their taste in linens and flowers. We had decided that we wanted to plan a wedding that was more a representation of who we are as a couple, what our interests were and celebrate with those people who are important in our lives.

Q: Where are the bride and groom from originally, where did they live during the engagement, and did you have the destination wedding?

A: Originally both my husband and I are from suburban Massachusetts. We had a small apartment in Boston together and then moved to Washington, DC which is where we were living when we got engaged. Our wedding was held in Playa del Carmen, Mexico which is about 45 minutes south of Cancun. We both speak Spanish and our first vacation together was in Mexico so we felt it was an appropriate location.

Q: How many guests did you invite, and how many attended?

A: We invited a little over a hundred people and we had 55 in attendance.

Q: What did you do for an invitation?

A: Destination Wedding invitations are slightly limited so I decided to make my own invitations and save the dates. I created the invitations by finding a beach themed graphic and worked with the colors I had chosen. I found a printer that would print and cut them and a local art student that did calligraphy. 

Q: Did you hire a wedding planner? If so, who?

A: I was comfortable planning the wedding myself having planned several large scale events in my past professional position. I booked the majority of the vendors myself but the hotel provided an on-site wedding planner that I used to provide local information and finalize the details the week of the wedding.

Q: Did you visit the location during your engagement?

A: Having never been to Playa we thought it was important to visit the area and the different locations we were considering at the time. Luckily we did! Prior to the visit I had one place tentatively booked and was planning on finalizing the details the weekend we were there. When I walked up to the restaurant I was completely taken aback at how different everything looked from the website and pictures they provided. Then they told us that the location the wedding was going to be held was not even built yet! Needless to say we spent the rest of the trip trying to find a new location and we were very happy with the place we ended up selecting. I think it is extremely important to do this if it is possible. 

Q: How is the pressure to be in great shape for your wedding increased when the wedding is at a beach destination?

A: I definitely believe there is an increased pressure to be in great physical shape for a destination wedding. With a traditional wedding the emphasis is usually on losing weight to look good in your wedding dress without so much a focus on tone. With a destination wedding, you not only have to look good in your dress but you have to also look good in your bikini! You are there with your guests for usually 5-7 days and the wedding is just one of them. Just thinking of being at the beach with my family and friends was pressure enough to spur me into action and get my body beach ready.

Q: What did you do to get in shape?

A: I had been working out pretty consistently without really seeing a difference on the scale or the fit of my clothes. I have terrible eating habits, skipping breakfast, usually having just one large meal a day or eating take out too often. I did Weight Watchers to basically teach myself how to eat correctly and better monitor my food intake. I adjusted my workout regime to include more cardio so I would run 3-4 miles 3 times a week and power walk 4-5 miles 2 times a week. I also did push-ups, leg lifts, squats and ab exercises to tone my stomach, arms and legs. I lost 20 pounds in a little over 4 months between the exercise and the diet plan going from a 10-12 to a 4-6.

Q: What did you do (research) to get creative ideas for the wedding?

A: I visited some wedding websites for ideas but I found a lot of the suggestions to be a little over the top and very typical. Mostly I used the location and the natural beauty of the beach to inspire me. For ideas on local activities I found a website that had a forum of local residents which was an incredibly valuable resource.

Q: What were some creative ideas you executed to make the wedding have a feel for the destination?

A: We wanted our guests to be able to experience the local culture so we specifically chose our wedding date to coincide with a Mexican Holiday, Dia de Los Muertos, which is similar to our Halloween. For our guest bags I purchased some traditional pastries and candies that are associated with the holiday as well as some local tequila and margarita mix. Also I included a map of the parade route and a little book I made of common Spanish phrases. For the wedding we had a Mariachi band play the cocktail hour of the reception and our menu was inspired by local cuisine.

Q: Did you stay in the destination to honeymoon or go somewhere else?

A: We rented a car the day that our guests all left and drove south to Tulum. We stayed in a great hotel and spa for three days and spent the remaining three days exploring the area as we headed back to Cancun.

Q: Did anything unexpected happen?

A: We had so many unexpected things happen the entire vacation! For the month leading up to the wedding there was virtually no rain, but sure enough there was a storm front that arrived the day the guests did. It rained on and off pretty much everyday. We planned on having our wedding reception on the beach with the tables set up on the sand and no tent overhead. That morning I woke up and the sky was clear and sunny, however, the wedding coordinator insisted it was going to rain and wanted to move the wedding inside to the reception hall. I didn’t have my wedding in Mexico just to have it in a reception hall, so I asked if we could use the open air restaurant that was overlooking the beach. It ended up being the only day it didn’t rain but it got very windy so it was a good decision and the restaurant was beautiful.

I went to the spa the morning the guests arrived to have a manicure/pedicure. The woman working on me was slightly coughing off and on and then finally she whispered that she had this cold she was getting over. I wasn’t thrilled that she was sick and doing my nails but we were already almost done when she revealed this to me so I just paid and left. Two days later I woke up with no voice! I literally could not speak my vows at the wedding which ended up being the joke of the week.

I hired a guitarist to play the ceremony and picked out a couple of songs for him to play. I knew that I did not want to go down the aisle to Here Comes the Bride and made a point to tell him that. He never showed up! Thankfully the hotel wedding coordinator was on her game and had a PA system set up and a CD ready to go. I really didn’t even notice until afterwards that I did in fact walk down the aisle to Here Comes the Bride but was just thankful that someone took care of the music and there was not silence! There were several other little things like that such as the bridesmaids flowers were all wrong and the cake was the wrong flavor, but no matter how much you plan something will always go wrong. You just have to go with the flow and realize that no matter what happens in the end you are married so just have fun.

Q: What was the best part about having a destination wedding?

A: The best part of having a destination wedding was having the opportunity to go on vacation and spend quality time with each and every person who took the time and made the financial commitment to be there in support of us. It is a lot to ask of people and it was really an honor to be there with those who came. I went for walks in the morning with my cousin’s husband who I have known for almost twenty years but have never spent quality time with.  My father and my husband’s father who prior to the wedding only met once, made a morning ritual of getting coffee with one another and debating politics the entire time they were there. We had a happy hour the day after everyone arrived and some of our guests got on stage and sang karaoke. That evening everyone ended up jumping in the fountain at the hotel! It is experiences like this that I remember, almost more so than the actual wedding itself. We had a five day party; the wedding was the icing on the cake.

Q: If you had any advice to give to newly engaged couples who may consider a destination wedding, what would that be?

A: Enlist the help of a travel agent who is familiar with the area you are considering. It does not cost you anything and that person usually has traveled to that area and will be a valuable resource. Give their name to your guests so that you will have one person making all the reservations. That makes it easier to get group rates and also keep track of who is attending your wedding.

Pick a location that is easy to get to for your guests and popular from their point of departure. For instance, we were considering Cabo but when we realized that it would be a 7 hour flight from Boston we decided against it. It would have been a lot of travel for a 5 day trip and the flights were very expensive. There were cheaper options and more flight times available to Cancun.

Don’t overbook your guests! You do not need to be a vacation planner to have a destination wedding. A lot of times this serves as a long needed vacation for your guests and they do not want their entire trip taken up by “wedding activities”. Plan one or two things so people can get to meet one another and provide them with a list of local activities that they can do on their own. One comment I got from a friend who attended a schedule packed wedding weekend was that she was exhausted from coming back from what should have been a relaxing vacation and felt pressured by the bride and groom to attend every single wedding related function. I asked if she had fun. She said there was no time to. Not exactly how you want people to remember your wedding.

Visit the location you are considering for your destination. A lot of times things are not as they seem on the websites or the area the venue is in may not be desirable and that does not translate through pictures. At the very least, research and get recommendations from people who have had their event there and obtain as many pictures of the event as you can. You may not have the same taste as that person, but at least you will have a better idea of the location and level of service you will be receiving.

Lastly, if you are having your wedding reception in an exotic place keep in mind it is not the United States.I know this sounds very simplistic but other countries are not as fast paced as we are and the level of service expected are quite different. There are many cases of brides getting frustrated because they do not get responses to emails and hardly have any communication at all with the reception site until two weeks before their wedding. Some of the places do up to 4 weddings a day and don’t usually give you the kind of attention you might expect. They are much more laid back and their weddings are routine for them. So basically, if you are a potential bridezilla I would not recommend a destination wedding, you have very little control of what actually happens and mistakes will be made. But in the end, despite it all, it is well worth it.